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  • Writer's pictureKizzy Staten Gray

21 Things about 21 Years of Marriage

Updated: Jan 8, 2020

21- Make your home a safe haven. Create an atmosphere and culture that exhibits love, compassion, encouragement. Keep it strife free. You both should want to come home not stay away as long as possible.

20-Have quality friendships with other couples. Find peace in confiding in and being accountable with another reliable couple.

19-Know who you are; Keep your identity. Resist being lost in or finding your identity in your marriage, children or career etc.

18- Time with marriage affirming friends is also important. You both need it. Girl time. Male bonding.

17-Have scheduled date nights. Spend quality time together. Don't allow the business of life to hinder time together. Keep the passion lit. Refuse to just be roommates.

16-You don't have to win every disagreement even if you are right. Don't shame or blame. In an argument don't start sentences with the word "you." Pick your battles. Choose wisely. Agree to disagree.

15-Pray together. Keep God in the center of it all. Remember a three strand cord is not really broken. Also, guard your personal devotion time. You are an individual child of God.

14-Don't allow financial struggle nor kids (biological/step) to come between and be a wedge in your marriage. Struggles are real. Passion is real. Solve the root problems.

13-Lighten up and Laugh often. Be Spontaneous. Try to have fun everyday! Boring isn't attractive.

12- Women want to be listened to. Really listen without interrupting. She will be most grateful.

11-Vacations are magical. Take a break from it all. Sometimes you may be able to take a stay cay or vacay without the kiddos. Just do it!

10-Workout together when you can. Adrenaline can spark a fresh attraction among you both.

9-Forgive. Let each other off the hook avoid legalism. Don't keep score. Don't hold grudges.

8- Thinking having a baby will bring you closer is a misnomer. Quality relationships require work not bandaids. Do the heart work! The investment yields exponential return.

7-Esteem each other. Celebrate one another including your successes. Speak positively about and towards each other. Words have power. Use them to bless not condemn.

6-Be well kept. Don't let yourself go because you're no longer in the market for a mate. Be what he or she wants to come home to. Self care is important to the quality of your relationship.

5-It's a waste of time to try to change your spouse. Exert the effort to improve yourself and trust God to have his perfect work in your spouse. We're all a work in progress. There's no need for you to be God Jr. He doesn't need your help being sovereign.

4- Husband's want respect and sex. It's their top priorities. Give both freely. Keep the flame blazing!

3-Learn your spouses love language and express that way. Learn each other's likes & dislikes and dwell accordingly. Serve one another. Remember to do the little things that bless your spouses heart. Like taking long walks without digital devices. Demonstrate your love not just lip service.

2-Constantly compromise. Be flexible. Give/take. It's the law of reciprocity. There's tremendous benefit!

1- Love is a decision not a feeling! Beyond your emotions and the consequences of life we must continuously choose to love.

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